Conflicts at work

Do you ever have a moment where you know a person makes you the worst version of yourself? I have that situation at work right now. 

This week I have been asked to: Think about any disagreements, or conflicts, you have recently experienced or are currently experiencing at work with a supervisor or colleague, or someone in your personal life. Share at least two strategies you have learned about that might help you manage or resolve the conflict more productively, and why these strategies might be effective. For example, could you suggest a compromise? Could you look for a broader range of solutions to your disagreement? Could you use some of the principles of nonviolent communication or the 3 R's to better help you resolve this conflict?

Right now I have that person at work, and while I normally consider myself a fair communicator, I often find myself at a loss for my skills when communicating with this person. So, what have I learned this week that could help me with that. I think that Gerber's 3 R's are a starting point. The 3 R's "promote the idea that relationships are built over time through respectful, reciprocal, and responsive interactions" (Gerber, n.d). By using these 3 R's I know that I have to step back and rethink my interactions with this person at work, as I know where are times that my interactions have not been respectful, reciprocal or responsive. 

Also, I think that the principles of Nonviolent Communication will also help me resolve conflict more productively. By being more clear in my requests, differentiating feeling from thinking, and connecting more with her person needs/values I think that I will be able to more successfully communicate with my partner at work. 

Will our communication ever been 100% effective? Probably not, but maybe with the use of the skills I am learning in this class we can get up to 90%? 80%, maybe ;)

How we communicate

Each day I communicate with different groups of people, and I think there are parts of my communication that differs with each group. For example, I talk to my mom every day, but I would never speak with the CEO of my organization the same way I speak with her, I would also not speak with a concerned parent in the same way I'd talk to another early childhood director. 

There are some key strategies that I have learned that help me to communicate effectively with different groups of people.

1. When speaking with families where English is a second language I always try to avoid slang that might be hard to understand. There are a lot of pieces of the English language that native speakers have learned (many of them are bad habits) that make no sense to those that are learning, or who have learned English. 

2. When speaking with a parent who is maybe concerned about an issue or something that has happened in the classroom I always make sure to employ active listening skills and make sure that they feel heard and understood. Taking a moment to sit and really listen to a family can mean trust is gained, and a situation can be diffused. 

Overall, the Platinum Rule of treating others as they would want to be treated is important to remember when communicating with any person regardless of culture, political affiliation, sexual orientation, ability, etc. 

Communicating with no sound..an experiment

This weekend I sat down to watch an episode of a reality show I don't regularly watch, Survivor. While I've seen this show before, I haven't been keeping up this time around.

Reality television is a great chance to look at communication with the sound on AND with the sound off. I think that the fact that the "actors" are not supposed to be acting gave way to some very interesting communication notes.

First, with the sound off, I noticed a lot of the characters' body language. Many times when they were communicating in groups I saw their arms crossed across their body, which could mean that they were not listening, or feeling uncomfortable with what was being communicated with them. At one point in the show I noticed that two tribe mates were talking to each other and both were being active listeners, with eye contact and one was nodding in agreement, I also noticed that they were expressively using their hands in what appeared to be a serious conversation.  When another person walked up on this conversation the two original people changed their body language, and it seemed that the tone of the conversation changed--I could tell this by their body language and facial expression.

Now, it was time to turn the sound on! Surprisingly, I was pretty on target with what was happening in the situations that I watched. Specifically when the two people were talking, they were having serious game play talk alone, when the third approached they began joking and laughing about something completely unrelated to their game.

It's interesting to me how big of a part the non verbal aspects of communication are. Body language, facial expression, eye contact are all things that can really affect your communication skills.

Effective Communicators in My Life

I feel that I am an effective communicator because of my mother. As a representative of my home town's Convention and Visitor's Bureau I grew up watching her speak at large conferences, lead tour groups, and attend city meetings. I was always intrigued at the way she spoke to people.

As I grew older, I started paying closer attention at her communication skills. When speaking to any person she actively listened, making them feel that whatever it was they had to say was the most important. My mother is a very social person, and can fill a room with positivity. What that means for her communication is that people are drawn to her, she emotes trust and friendliness. Even in a situation that requires seriousness she still shows compassion and caring.

Because of her, I am the communicator I am today. Whenever I sit down with a parent I make sure that-regardless of how busy I am-they are the most important person in the room. When I speak with staff members, I do the same.

Thanks mom :)

Professional Hopes and Goals

What an amazing 8 weeks it has been! I feel that I have learned so much from this course, and feel like I will be able to take the information to better myself in my career.

My hope for working with children and families of diverse backgrounds is that I am able to welcome them and make them feel very comfortable in my center. I want ALL families to feel that I am here for them and understand them, but  many international families or families with diverse backgrounds come with extra needs, and I want to be able to have them integrate into my center with little issue. I also hope to grow from working with families (ALL families). Every family has something that I can learn from, and I want to be open to learning from each of them.

For the early childhood field in general, I would like to see more national support for understanding diversity and multi culturalism education for teachers. It would be so amazing if there was a course, like required CPR or First Aid that teachers would be required to go through to work with families.

Finally, I cannot say thank you enough to all of my colleagues this time around in EDUC 6164, each of you have made me think with your comments and support. I appreciate the Walden community and structure. It really makes us interact with our personal and professional takes on so many topics.

I'd also like to thank Dr. Parrish for her support and knowledge. Her style of teaching has been the best I have experienced so far, and I appreciate the hard work she put in to making us each feel like we had a voice and opinion on everything.

Here's to the next 8 weeks!

Welcoming Families From Around the World

In this week's scenario I have been tasked with writing about how I would handle a family from a foreign country arriving at my child care center and I am responsible for welcoming them.

Because of an interest in Indian culture, I have chosen to imagine my family coming from India. With my history of working at a very multicultural center, I can tell you my first stop is always Google. While, as scholars, we all have to be wary of internet resources, there are still many legit sites that can help any person begin to navigate cultural responsiveness. Next, I would contact my local university and see if there is an Indian studies department, or any sort of program at the University that could help me. Third, I would seek out any families in my current program who are from India and see what kind of information they could give me. Fourth, I would speak directly with the family's new classroom teachers, and prepare them with the knowledge and information I have gathered.

I think the most important step in preparing myself to be culturally responsive would be to speak directly with the family. While speaking with scholars, googling, talking with other families is helpful, without getting to know this specific family I am potentially setting myself up to be even more culturally unprepared.

All five of these ways will help prepare me and my child care center to welcome a new family in to our  family. By gathering bits of information, and preparing teachers we are able to welcome a child that is possibly right off of a plane, in a new country, where a new language is spoken. By speaking to the parents and gathering information from them, it will help to make that transition go as smoothly as possible.

The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

I've written about this before, but I will do so again to address the real side of bias, prejudice and oppression this week. A month into my new position at a child care center I experienced an extreme act of aggression, prejudice and hatred. On a fairly normal Sunday afternoon a man chose to come to my place of work and open fire in the parking lot of our building. He hurt several people, and killed two innocent people. This man specifically came to the building because of his bias towards the Jewish faith. The choices that he made hurt the entire community, and changed the lives of several families in an instant.

This man spewed hateful words as he committed this hate crime, and let his pure prejudice towards Jews be openly known.

This specific incident really opened my eyes to the topic of bias, prejudice and oppression, because before this I had not really experienced much in my lifetime. I became very aware of the hatred some people have for specific religions.

Many women have experienced some sort of bias by their 30s, I have chosen a field that really embraces women, and opens HUGE doors for them, so I have not had to deal with oppression related to my gender. However, that doesn't mean that I'm not aware of it. Many friends of mine have been turned down positions because of their gender--only to be passed up for male applicants who are less educated and less qualified. It is very hard for them, and me, to understand this inequality. With this specific case, in order to turn it into  an opportunity for greater equity, I thin that there need to be stricter guidelines for equal opportunity employment. I see "EOE" on many job postings, but I wonder who monitors this?