Conflicts at work

Do you ever have a moment where you know a person makes you the worst version of yourself? I have that situation at work right now. 

This week I have been asked to: Think about any disagreements, or conflicts, you have recently experienced or are currently experiencing at work with a supervisor or colleague, or someone in your personal life. Share at least two strategies you have learned about that might help you manage or resolve the conflict more productively, and why these strategies might be effective. For example, could you suggest a compromise? Could you look for a broader range of solutions to your disagreement? Could you use some of the principles of nonviolent communication or the 3 R's to better help you resolve this conflict?

Right now I have that person at work, and while I normally consider myself a fair communicator, I often find myself at a loss for my skills when communicating with this person. So, what have I learned this week that could help me with that. I think that Gerber's 3 R's are a starting point. The 3 R's "promote the idea that relationships are built over time through respectful, reciprocal, and responsive interactions" (Gerber, n.d). By using these 3 R's I know that I have to step back and rethink my interactions with this person at work, as I know where are times that my interactions have not been respectful, reciprocal or responsive. 

Also, I think that the principles of Nonviolent Communication will also help me resolve conflict more productively. By being more clear in my requests, differentiating feeling from thinking, and connecting more with her person needs/values I think that I will be able to more successfully communicate with my partner at work. 

Will our communication ever been 100% effective? Probably not, but maybe with the use of the skills I am learning in this class we can get up to 90%? 80%, maybe ;)

How we communicate

Each day I communicate with different groups of people, and I think there are parts of my communication that differs with each group. For example, I talk to my mom every day, but I would never speak with the CEO of my organization the same way I speak with her, I would also not speak with a concerned parent in the same way I'd talk to another early childhood director. 

There are some key strategies that I have learned that help me to communicate effectively with different groups of people.

1. When speaking with families where English is a second language I always try to avoid slang that might be hard to understand. There are a lot of pieces of the English language that native speakers have learned (many of them are bad habits) that make no sense to those that are learning, or who have learned English. 

2. When speaking with a parent who is maybe concerned about an issue or something that has happened in the classroom I always make sure to employ active listening skills and make sure that they feel heard and understood. Taking a moment to sit and really listen to a family can mean trust is gained, and a situation can be diffused. 

Overall, the Platinum Rule of treating others as they would want to be treated is important to remember when communicating with any person regardless of culture, political affiliation, sexual orientation, ability, etc. 

Communicating with no sound..an experiment

This weekend I sat down to watch an episode of a reality show I don't regularly watch, Survivor. While I've seen this show before, I haven't been keeping up this time around.

Reality television is a great chance to look at communication with the sound on AND with the sound off. I think that the fact that the "actors" are not supposed to be acting gave way to some very interesting communication notes.

First, with the sound off, I noticed a lot of the characters' body language. Many times when they were communicating in groups I saw their arms crossed across their body, which could mean that they were not listening, or feeling uncomfortable with what was being communicated with them. At one point in the show I noticed that two tribe mates were talking to each other and both were being active listeners, with eye contact and one was nodding in agreement, I also noticed that they were expressively using their hands in what appeared to be a serious conversation.  When another person walked up on this conversation the two original people changed their body language, and it seemed that the tone of the conversation changed--I could tell this by their body language and facial expression.

Now, it was time to turn the sound on! Surprisingly, I was pretty on target with what was happening in the situations that I watched. Specifically when the two people were talking, they were having serious game play talk alone, when the third approached they began joking and laughing about something completely unrelated to their game.

It's interesting to me how big of a part the non verbal aspects of communication are. Body language, facial expression, eye contact are all things that can really affect your communication skills.

Effective Communicators in My Life

I feel that I am an effective communicator because of my mother. As a representative of my home town's Convention and Visitor's Bureau I grew up watching her speak at large conferences, lead tour groups, and attend city meetings. I was always intrigued at the way she spoke to people.

As I grew older, I started paying closer attention at her communication skills. When speaking to any person she actively listened, making them feel that whatever it was they had to say was the most important. My mother is a very social person, and can fill a room with positivity. What that means for her communication is that people are drawn to her, she emotes trust and friendliness. Even in a situation that requires seriousness she still shows compassion and caring.

Because of her, I am the communicator I am today. Whenever I sit down with a parent I make sure that-regardless of how busy I am-they are the most important person in the room. When I speak with staff members, I do the same.

Thanks mom :)